Tag Archives: school

Anyone Else Wish Their Kids Would Stay Little Forever?

Posted on August 29, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Right before I send my children off to school each year, I feel a sense of dread. Not because I think they will do poorly in school, or be unhappy, but because with each year I sense a loss of connection to what they are doing each day. I know their pulling away and becoming independent free-thinking individuals is what we ultimately want. But, it still stings. Maybe I’m just a control freak, but I HATE not knowing what my children are doing, what makes them smile, or causes them frustration and grief each day.

My oldest is going into eighth grade and he is about to enter the time when being with his friends will seem more important than being with his family. I remember this time well. When I was in eighth grade, I only wanted to be with friends. My parents just didn’t get it. They were boring. And even though I like to think I’m the cool young mom, I know ultimately I am boring in comparison to his friends. It is inevitable.

It seems that just yesterday he was starting Kindergarten. The cliches about time moving so fast, simply do not do it justice. One minute you are teaching your child to tie his shoe laces and the next he is telling you that you are a bad driver (since at 13 they already know everything). Then he starts talking about starting to drive in three years and you get a minor anxiety attack, because you realize it’s true.

I have a message for all parents with young children. Do not rush each milestone. Savor every painstaking moment. Even though your child will always be your “baby,” they won’t always be solely yours. One day they will want to be their own.

AD starts first grade this year and B starts kindergarten. I know their journey into independence is only beginning. But, I am still dealing with my feelings of loss of control, dread, anxiety, fear, and sadness. As much as I may get frustrated or complain, the truth is I enjoy having them with me every day. Yes, the time apart will be healthy and at times I will enjoy the quiet. But, I am still trying to drag out these last couple of days before school begins. I am not going to rush anything. Perhaps it’s the wisdom I have gained from having a teenager, but I am going to savor each and every moment.

I am grateful for having the baby with me because I am not ready to be home without a little one of my own. I still squeeze her every time I take her out of the crib and try to breathe in her baby smell, even though she squirms and kicks to be put down and run. I get heart palpitations when I envision her starting kindergarten because I know she is my last one. And continuing to have babies just to avoid the inevitable really isn’t a logical option (although on days like these I do understand those people we like to judge for continuing to pop little ones out).

If you are worried about staying connected to your children once they start school, check out the PWC Moms website for my recent guest blog, where I offer some suggestions for Building Good Teacher/Provider Relationships.

Are you feeling the anxiety and loss? Is your child becoming his/her own person right before your eyes? Do you have the wisdom of someone who has been there? Please leave a comment or join me at www.Facebook.com/TinyStepsMommy to continue the discussion.

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Don’t Let Your Child’s Goodbye Drama Ruin Your Day

Posted on May 3, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Nothing can ruin a morning commute like a tearful and torturous goodbye with your child. Of course the question is, who is really more tortured, the parent or child? I am willing to bet that Mommy or Daddy is the one holding on to the emotions resulting from a terrible goodbye.

In my experience, the children being dropped off in my daycare are usually finished with their goodbye drama before their parents are even in their car. Many times it is a show that is created for the audience of Mommy and Daddy.

This morning, a two-year-old little girl had a huge tantrum in front of her mother at drop-off time. I felt so sorry for her Mommy, because I know how hard it is to deal with this first thing in the morning. But, within two minutes of her mother leaving, this same girl was in the best mood. She asked me for a hug and kiss and wanted to play in the housekeeping corner. It was obvious to me that the drama was just that – a theatrical performance.

Let us be honest. Children, especially toddlers, cry for many reasons. Some are completely valid. They are frustrated, hungry, tired, teething, coming down with a cold, scared, hurt, etc. I don’t want to invalidate the feelings of anyone, especially a child. The problem, however, is that children quickly learn how to use crying or screaming to their advantage. So, some become master manipulators.

Children are also incredibly in tune with their parents emotions. If you are stressed or in a hurry, your child will not cooperate for a reason. If you are sad or distressed, your child will pick up on these feelings and will respond in ways that may cause you more distress.

This is why a second-time mother will usually have more success nursing. When a mother is confident in her abilities and relaxed, then her baby will be more relaxed and receptive to the nursing. This idea is applicable to all children as they grow.

I would not allow your child’s goodbye drama to ruin your day. More than likely it is not a reflection that your child is hating daycare or angry with you for leaving him/her for the day.

If you are having a difficult time dropping your child off at daycare or school, I have created a post with advice to Ease the Pain and Parent Guilt of Your Child’s Goodbye Drama for DC Metro Mom.

Does your child create goodbye drama? Please visit the Tiny Steps Mommy Facebook page to continue this discussion.

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My Son’s Allergies Taught Me A Lesson

Posted on April 19, 2012 by | 4 Comments

Photo Credit: BabyBulletBlog.com

I never thought I would check the forecast hoping for a rainy day, but that is what the mother of an asthmatic with seasonal allergies hopes for in Spring.

My six-year-old AD is only in kindergarten, but he has already been sent home by the nurse six times this year. This week I was called to pick him up twice. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the care she is giving, or the genuine concern in her voice, but every time she calls my heart skips a beat and I fear that he is going into anaphylactic shock because some kid offered him a cookie with peanuts (did I forget to mention he is also allergic to peanuts and tree nuts?).

As you can imagine, the school health aide (aka clinic nurse) and I are on a first-name basis. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything life threatening or even contagious. He wasn’t vomiting or spiking a fever. She called because of his allergy to pollen. It was making him itch and a rash was forming on the back of the neck and on his arms. I took him home, gave him Benadryl, showered him, and slathered his rash with Caladryl. The rash subsided and I sent him to school the next day.

I decided to walk him into school to explain in-person that his rash was a reaction to the extreme amount of pollen outside – everything is coated in a greenish-yellowish film. I thought that was the end of it, but in the afternoon I was called again (surprise, surprise he started itching after recess). So, this time I went to the doctor to get an official letter stating what I told the school verbally  -  it’s just a reaction to the pollen (the doctor and I are pretty tight too).

Here is what his rash looks like when it flares up. Poor baby!

The truth is there is not much that can be done, except showering him every time he plays outside, slathering on some hydrocortisone cream, and hoping for rain and a fast end to spring. The poor baby is already taking Zyrtec, Singulair, Flovent, Albuterol, and Patonal for his asthma/allergy issues.

The next day, I walked him into school again and spoke to the nurse. She had me fill out two forms and sign my life away about five times, so I could leave the tube of hydrocortisone cream with her. I left hoping he would complete an entire day at school.

I also left feeling annoyed by the entire situation. What does the school expect me to do? Home-school him during allergy season? Lock him indoors? I was cursing the nurse, his teacher, the school, his allergies, and the damn lack of rain the entire ride home. I think I even muttered to myself some vague and ridiculously weak threat that went like this, “She better not call me to pick him up again, or else.”

Later that day after naptime, I picked up one of the babies in my daycare and realized he had a fever. It was a 102 fever, so I immediately called his parents and asked them to pick him up. As I rocked this little boy until his Mommy arrived from her office, which is at least 30 minutes away, I started to feel bad for cursing the nurse and his teacher.

I am a mother, but I am also the person who sometimes has to make another parent race from work to pick-up a sick child. I have had to make that phone call many times to parents who probably had to skip a meeting, lose leave time, ask their boss permission to leave unexpectedly, and stress about care. I run my daycare from my home, which is less than five minutes from the school. I also have two amazing assistants that allow me to drop everything and pick-up my son from school on a moment’s notice, or walk him into school to chat with the nurse.

I was so upset at the school for having me pick AD up for his allergies that I didn’t see the bigger picture - at least I was able to pick him up without any repercussions. At least he could come home and be with me and I didn’t have to scramble to find other care arrangements.

I still hate that my son is plagued every spring with breathing issues, a runny nose, itchy skin, and red puffy eyes, but I decided to be a little more patient with the school and their policies. I get it.  It’s their job, just as it’s sometimes mine. The rules are in place to protect the children, not to annoy the parents.

So, instead, I’m going to do a rain dance and redirect my anger at the weather person every time I’m teased with the hope of a real rain shower and it only sprinkles. That weather guy better not get it wrong, or else.

Does your child suffer from allergies? Are you called out of work to pick-up your child frequently? Are you tired of the weather person getting it wrong? Leave a comment or join the discussion on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TinyStepsCare.

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